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Spring Cleaning

March 21, 2009
tags: ,

mexico-2311We just got back from the Mayan Riviera yesterday. This morning I was feeling depressed because despite having left a four dollar tip on the kitchen table, my living room still looks like the site of a massive suitcase disemboweling. Also, my bathroom towels have not been folded into a pair of courting swans. Anyway, there’s nothing like a polished five star resort to make you feel really bad about living in dirty basement suite. On top of this, J brought back an awful case of “everything that could ever possibly make your baby feel like crap.” So between forcing electrolytes down his throat and then mopping up explosive electrolyte diarrhea, I had just enough time to strew dirty laundry all over the living room floor. D saw my distress and offered a suggestion.

D: You know what would make you feel better? A really good Spring Cleaning. You know, the kind where you move your couches and stuff.

I waited for him to finish with something like: “…which is why I smuggled one of the housekeepers back from the resort. Check the suitcase beside the second pile of stuff.”

Truthfully, I would do something illegal to have a couple of uninterrupted hours to move my couches. Those who enjoy the luxury of a traditional Spring Clean are childless or have bred for the sole purpose of creating a labor force. Which doesn’t sound unethical at the moment. Anyway, I tried to help D understand my situation.

Me: Imagine, if you will, trying to teach a critical math concept but you are interrupted every three minutes by a whiny student with verbal diarrhea. How would that make you feel?

D: Enraged.

So Happy Spring and Happy Spring cleaning to you fortunate few.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Sara permalink
    March 21, 2009 9:54 pm

    Hi Claire,

    Frickin halarious stuff! I hope you had a great trip! I just got back yesterday too—good to home for sure, but Spring time is proving to be pretty lame around here though 🙂

    O.k I really love reading your stuff. You need to submit more of your writing—get the whole world laughing !

    Glad you’re home and we’ll see you soon,

    sara

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