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The Birthday Story

April 7, 2009

birthdaybearI think it’s unfortunate that humans have evolved in such a way that we don’t remember the first two years of life. To be aware that you live in a state of unconditional absolution might really help make up for all those years of doing things totally wrong. For example, you can vomit all over Grandma’s new sweater and no one is going to make you call her the next day and apologize. In fact, if you’re the first grandchild, she may never wash that sweater again. I also think it would be great knowing that pretty much everyone else around you has to pay for flights. That being said, it’s for the best that James is not going to remember his first birthday.

He turned one on a Monday this year and, you know, who wants to party on a Monday? We reasoned that since he was born three weeks early, we’ve got until April 14th to not make this the worst birthday of his life.

I did bake some birthday muffins which I brought to J.D.’s staff room at lunch but a teachers’ staff room is like a vortex for baked goods and he never got to try one. J.D. said they were good.

For dinner we had left over lasagne. Then we let him cry himself to sleep. Happy Birthday.

We did get him a present. It’s a “Multifunctional remote-controlled Magic aerobatic car” aptly named,  “The Invincible Tornado”. This was an impulse buy at the airport, and like all airport purchases, completely regrettable. He only got to look at it before going to bed since we forgot to charge the batteries (which are made out of lead and acid and, thanks for telling us, may explode if incorrectly installed). James found the styrofoam packing equally engaging.

J.D. and I found the OPERATIONS equally engaging. So much that I would like to share them with you.


Make sure the power switched of car is turned to OFF after using. Otherwise, power of the batteries in the car may be soon consumed and the car may casually have false actions.

1. Fully extend the aerial of the transmitter.
2. Switches on the power of the transmitter and that of the chassis of the car to ON.
3. Use the control levers of the transmitter to control the car to run
4. this device may not cause harmful interference.
5. this device must accept any interference received including interference that may cause undesired operation.

1.Insert the charger indoor 220/110 AC power electric outlets of ;
2. The charger outputs the exportation plug of the line bitter end
3. Refresh time take 4 -6 hour proper

1. Must use an appropriation of 4.8 V charger that our company install to refresh, The charger that uses other not clear characteristics refreshes to damage battery probably.
2. Refresh time should not lead long, 6 hours be good enough to make battery saturated, leading to refresh the service life that will shorten the battery, Even cause the battery deformation lose efficacy.
3. Forbid to refresh towards can’t refresh of common battery, slice to record!
4. Refresh should in the adult of the guardianship descend carry on.

So let this be a lesson to all you adults of the guardianship who are easily tempted to casual false actions: Next time you find yourself in an airport shopping for your child’s birthday presents, slice to record!

In case you were thinking about buying James a consolation birthday pony, this birthday story (which I will continue to document this week) has made a turn around. AND it’s not even the 14th yet. We still have time to book him on a flight to a destination of his choice. But he’d have to go alone. Flying is expensive.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. Christine permalink
    April 7, 2009 8:47 pm

    WOW I thought I was going crazy reading that…it was harder to read than my student’s work…which can be pretty bad sometimes 🙂

  2. April 9, 2009 10:47 am

    That is so funny! I’ve seen some instructions with obvious English language issues, but that is definitely the worst ever!
    Thanks for visiting my blog!

  3. Daila permalink
    April 9, 2009 3:13 pm

    I have that car too!! Andrea and Neal picked it up for us while on their honeymoon… at the airport! We had a good hearty laugh at the instructions when we read them too!

    I’m sure James will cherish it forever!


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