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Archive: Elimination Communication

April 10, 2009


(Originally published: 18/09/08) I hear that by the age of six months many babies sleep through the night. Our son, however, is quite obviously a non-conformist. This is probably because of a number of parenting decisions we have made which by the light of day and a strong cup of coffee seem wholesome but by the light of our digital alarm clock – several times per night – seem stupid.

For example, we have chosen to practice “elimination communication” which basically means we have trained James to say “Mum, I have to you-know-what,” in more or less words. We then whisk him away to the toilet, where upon he defecates. It’s amazing, really, during the day. But now he has a zero tolerance policy for wet diapers and wakes me up three times a night, gently poking me in the ribs, “Mum, I have to…if you wouldn’t mind…I just need to use the…”

Sometimes I wish he was one of those kids in disposables who are completely unaware that anything actually goes on in diapers. They just can’t figure out why their underwear self-inflates several times a day and their center of gravity seems off.

Back to the point, which I think had something to do with sleep deprivation. I woke up this morning (rather, James woke me up: “If it’s no trouble, I’ve been holding it for awhile…”) and I was just ready to make someone pay. And the trouble (for J.D) is that there are only two other members in this family and its bad parenting to glower at your baby, so I got up and glowered at J.D.

“What’s the matter?” he asked. I hadn’t considered how to articulate my condition so I proceeded without much thought – which I’ve found is not necessarily the best way, but often the only way.

“What’s the matter with YOU?” J.D is stunned into silence for a moment.
“Nothing, I’m okay, I just…”
“It’s always about you!” and so on. He headed straight for the coffee maker, which he knows is his best defense. But dammit, the thing just doesn’t percolate quickly enough. For either of us. He retreats to the bedroom to wait it out.
“WHAT?!” I yell, “You want me to make YOU coffee?!” J.D turns off all the lights and stands in a corner, trying not to blink aggressively

The coffee pot is empty now and I’m basically okay. (J.D got about a 10th of what was brewed with 4 tablespoons of sugar and there was milk sloshed on either side of his mug. Not sure what happened there.)

3 Comments leave one →
  1. suehaydon permalink
    April 11, 2009 7:19 am

    We are practicing EC with my son who is 6 months old. He has #2 all figured out, but still not there with #1 (pee). The only problem with EC is that he will hold is poop until we put on the potty and when you are out running errands it is sometimes just not feasible to get my son the potty. My son ends up screaming his little head off because he has to poop….oh joy. I sometimes wish I have never started this whole ec thing either!


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