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Halloween

November 3, 2009

We lost the wire thingy to hook the camera up to the computer. This is my primary excuse for not sharing halloween photos. My secondary excuse is that we didn’t take any. BUT! J.D. seemed just as willing to put on black tights, antennae, and a ladybug backpack in early November as he was on October 31st. Thus, we will stage Halloween soon and deliver the evidence once the electronics situation remedies itself.

On Halloween afternoon, J.D. and I realized that we had failed to purchase a $14 box of individually wrapped chocolate sugar wax. This is because we’ve never actually been obliged to open our door on Halloween. The first two Halloweens of our marriage we lived in a basement that lay nestled between two pot-smoking-biker houses that had utility sinks and mattresses in their front yards instead of the usual permafrost-resistant shrubbery. I’m pretty sure the cops had run notices in the local paper warning children not to knock on their doors. And so we spent those Halloweens listening to radio reports about crime on our block.

This year, we live on a respectable street where neighbors offer to lend each other tools, not hard drugs. It’s nice. Yet, we were still completely unprepared for hoards of normal people to come knocking on our door. Then I had this incredible “alternative” idea. A Gypsy Fortune Teller Shack! Right in our front entrance! Fortunes and marbles for one and all! We hung sheets, lit candles, burned incense and played Gypsy MP3s on the laptop. We spoke with inconsistent ethnically ambiguous accents and made kids break pasta noodles in half and say mystical things to our raven puppet, Poe. Then we gave them badly cut out fortunes such as, “If you wear green tomorrow your shoes will disappear.” Most kids thought the whole production was entertaining but there were definitely a few who were like, “Where the stink is my chocolate bar?”

Yes, it was wonderful until my hair caught on fire. Some kid in a World of Warcraft costume was like, “Whoa. Your hair in on fire.” Totally flat. No emotion. I guess hair on fire is pretty boring when you’ve been questing with a level 700 battlemage just that afternoon.

So, later on this week I will post a picture of J.D. and James as matching ladybugs. Also a picture of J.D. looking mysterious with really bad eye make up in our Halloween gypsy tent. And maybe a picture of myself with a new haircut.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. Jaelyn permalink
    November 4, 2009 8:17 am

    hilarious! Your antics always make my complete apathy even more pathetic. I am still laughing out loud….

  2. November 4, 2009 11:08 am

    Did you really?

    • Claire permalink*
      November 4, 2009 1:11 pm

      I absolutely did. The stink gave our incense a run for its money…

  3. Theresa permalink
    November 4, 2009 11:10 am

    Oh my! Love it Claire… I wish we lived close enough to have come visit.

  4. November 8, 2009 10:35 am

    You are so creative! And such a good writer. Hair on fire…crazy.

  5. November 9, 2009 1:28 am

    omg – i just typed in momlogic and nearly filled my pants. i kept thinking “What have you done to your blog!?” thank god it was only a typo on my part 🙂
    gutsy on-the-fly alternative – very cool 🙂 the ambiguous accent made me think of Serge from Beverly Hills cop – “weet lemon tweest” 🙂
    raven puppet named Poe – awesome 🙂
    the “your hair is on fire” kid might have thought you were really going over the top with your halloween costume?
    thank you for not turning into momlogic – that was scary.

    • Claire permalink*
      November 16, 2009 10:52 pm

      WoW. I completely understand your horror. I assure you, Mumologic will never ever amount to Momlogic. We simply do not have enough seizure medication on hand.

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