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She’s a Fixer Upper

July 12, 2010

J.D has accomplished an impressive amount of work at the new house over the past three days. To balance his accomplishments, I spent a number of hours on Friday night “fixing” holes in the walls from when the previous owner loaded her semi-automatic with thumb tacks and went to town. But, instead of fixing the holes, I managed to create a situation that the internet said was “unfortunate, but fixable.”

The tasks assigned to me from now on will be very carefully selected.

On Saturday, however, we discovered that I am not the only one who tackles home improvement projects without forethought. J.D was literally scraping sheets of the old paint from the walls, which had been applied as one coat on an obviously dirty wall. Thus, my small(ish) error was negated by their large error and I felt pretty good about it. Until I realized that scraping all the paint off every single wall in the entire house is nothing to feel good about.

On Sunday, J.D did things like:
-discover the minefield of dog crap, cigarette butts and beer cans in the back yard while weedwacking. Not things you want to discover with a weedwacker.
-buy out Canadian Tire’s supply of discounted kids foam play mats because nothing else screams budget and makeshift daycare like a basement floor covered in squishy primary colors
-seal the mystery vent with toxic expanding chemicals in James’ bedroom
-clean the gutters which were full of composted leaves and subsequently thriving plant life

Despite the set backs endured so far, and the many others I can just feeling coming, there are a few things that make bitterness completely inappropriate. Here they are, in no particular order of wonderfulness.

-We currently live four houses down from our new place. This means we get a little fresh air instead of burning through five tanks of gas every time we forget a tool, need a snack, or do things totally wrong and need to come home crying.
-Our neighbor to the right is a spunky old lady whose front license plate reads, “Grandma Bud” – purchased by her “damn kids who won’t let her drink the stuff anymore.” She took an immediate liking to James and James took an immediate liking to her. Hello surrogate grandma and probable source of junk food he won’t find at home.
-Our neighbors to the left are a supremely nice construction worker and his supremely nice girlfriend who has already offered us her boyfriend’s services.
-Two doors down is a young family with three children under the age of four. Friends to play in our budget daycare!
-We discovered a trick bookcase in the basement which swings open to something even better than a secret lair: Storage!
-An excellent friend from a former life is coming to live with us so as to make possible an otherwise Jones’ style mortgage. Fortunately, she has never lived with a two-year old and a pregnant lady, thus, her current enthusiasm.

I will post a few photos of the house soon, which as it stands, looks like the interior of a busted grow-op. Very charming.

One Comment leave one →
  1. July 18, 2010 10:53 pm

    The joys of home ownership, hey?! I hope all the making it livable upgrades don’t take too long, although I know how vain that hope is.

    I didn’t know you live four doors down from the new house–next time I take a walk I will knock on both doors!

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