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September 15, 2010

There are still a number of toxic type jobs to be done around the house. One of them was priming the downstairs bathroom. We use Kilz primer which I have been told is the best. This is because it uses some kind of complex poison to make whatever paint you put on top of it petrify and then eventually fossilize to your wall. Thus, Kilz primer can guarantee satisfaction for eternity but only if you survive its application.

J.D. thought it would be okay to prime the bathroom while everyone was home. He locked himself in there with a gas mask, a can of Kilz and the will to survive. Kilz, however, all but ate through the door looking for fresh sets of lungs.

When J.D. was done, all three (four) of us left the house immediately to de-fume and decided to go mattress shopping in stores full of off-gassing furniture.

After visiting a few stores, we determined that a mattress within our budget meant buying some springs and draping a sheet over them. In the last store, James found a bunk bed which he thought was called a ‘bonk’ bed and made it that much more awesome and that much more traumatic when we had to unwind his little fingers from it’s posts.

But all was redeemed when he got to eat a grocery store picnic supper naked in the back of the car in the driveway. He wet himself on the way home, probably in some kind of bonk bed protest. We asked him if he wanted us to go back into our gas chamber of a house to find him some new underpants and he selflessly declined.The car, when all the seats are folded down, is like a non-bouncy ‘bouncy castle’ for James.

Then we “slept” in a tent in the back yard. Yet another slightly more bouncy ‘bouncy castle’.

In the morning I received a hostile memo from my hips.


I am 28 weeks now, by the way. I can safely say that there are a mere 10 weeks to go. They like to induce diabetics at 38 weeks. This is good for scheduling purposes, terrible for quality of labor. Induction = labor times atomic bomb.

Big brother James with his bump of a sibling:

5 Comments leave one →
  1. elena permalink
    September 15, 2010 4:36 pm

    Claire, You truly are hilarious. Re. the induction: you might find the second time around easier. I was induced with the twins (I agree with the atomic bomb analogy); however, Isaac was induced the morning of his birth as my labour had petered out. The induction (Cervidil) started at around noon, really got going by 2pm and he was born at 3:30pm. And, and this is a big and, it was an easier labour than the last two completely natural labours. I actually had space between contractions right until the end. The only downside was the simultaneous vomiting, contraction and water breaking at 2:50pm. But, alas, 2 weeks later it is but a funny (albeit interesting) memory. Nevertheless, I still tell Dave (like I have with all my labours): Next time we go to a hospital with epidurals. To which he inevitably replies: Next time?

    • Claire permalink*
      September 17, 2010 1:52 pm

      Love your optimism and forward thinking:)

  2. September 16, 2010 12:31 am

    jeez – hope JD doesnt get sick from the KILZ… is the filter mask thingy intended for use with KILZ?

    • Claire permalink*
      September 17, 2010 1:54 pm

      Yup, which is why he was totally unaware that the rest of us upstairs were being poisoned.

  3. Davida permalink
    September 17, 2010 3:38 pm

    i love it claire….you are HILARIOUS! glad that you got it done though..and everyone has working lungs so far!

    Very cute picture too by the way!

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