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Doctor Sicko’s Intern

January 14, 2011

One of our dreams for this paternity leave is to buy a campervan and go on an excellent roadtrip where nothing breaks and nobody whines and tra la la la la.  If we do end up realizing this dream, Jasper will make sure our theme song is “I hate my car seat, I hate you all.” I think Lady Gaga does a cover. Wah wah wa wa wah.

Since yesterday I have transferred him to said car seat  multiple times without a word of protest. He is clearly dying.

Thanks to James, who spent three days coughing in Jasper’s general direction and probably licking his face when I wasn’t looking, my baby is sick. (Is this not also a Lady Gaga lyric?)

We forgot the aspirator in Whitehorse and yesterday Jasper sounded like a coffee maker*. So, without much thought, I just sucked the snot out of him.

Highly effective. Completely disgusting.

But I didn’t have to worry about poking his brains with the end of the aspirator and people seem very impressed when I tell them. Probably more on the horrified side of impressed.

As for the roadtrip dream, we are test driving a 1980 Chevy tomorrow. It doesn’t really look like a fun-times van. It looks more like a van you’d find on the side of a Mexican highway with all its tires missing. Wish us luck! And a larger budget!

*This similie might be completely inappropriate. Do coffee makers even make noise these days? J.D. and I use a french press at home so my only reference is his parents’ coffee maker.  It was a wedding gift twenty seven years ago and they don’t drink coffee. It works just fine but it’s all, “I’M PERCOLATING, BAH!”

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. Theresa permalink
    January 14, 2011 11:31 pm

    After 3 kids I finally realized that the booger sucker works best when plugging the other nostril at the same time you suck. I am not sure if this is bad, or damaging, or adds to the risk of sucking said brains out. Again, mother of the year. What I do know is it works great in allowing the whole breathing AND nursing thing to take place.

    • Claire permalink*
      January 15, 2011 9:42 am

      Excellent to know. When Jasper’s body fluids become less benign I’ll switch back to the aspirator and try this handy brain sucking technique.

  2. Eileen permalink
    January 16, 2011 12:21 pm

    That position Jasper is in looks very much like something he might have preferred in the womb.

    Hope our boys are feeling better soon – and that you don’t catch it too, Claire!

  3. Davida permalink
    January 17, 2011 11:11 am

    Absolutely wonderful Claire! Ha, I will have to get a demonstration of that nose sucking technique before Shawn and I have number two! Hee Hee!

    That god awful baby nose spray actually really worked wonders for Lachlan when he was little. Everything just came right out. Just saline water really, in a fine mist!

    I have my fingers crossed for the best travel van ever for you guys!!!

  4. eep6 permalink
    January 20, 2011 4:18 am

    Yep, I’ve sucked the snot out of my baby before too. I don’t know if I would have thought of it though if my sister hadn’t told me that it’s how she does it.

  5. eep6 permalink
    January 20, 2011 4:18 am

    Hope you all feel better soon, it sounds absolutely miserable.

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