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The First Dadless Day

April 19, 2012

Yesterday we were like this:

Today we’re more like this:

J.D. had to bring a family photo with him to show his host family in the Dominican Republic. We used the self timer and the first photo was me looking stoned, J.D. looking like he’s about to sell you some insurance and a used car, Jasper looking naked (…) and James looking like we’ve promised to light all his toys on fire after the photo shoot.  The whole family shot above is the third attempt. The second attempt is this partial family shot wherein J.D. is  unsuccessfully resetting the self timer and James is unsuccessfully begging for mercy.

Today was pretty good. Except for the following scene which I will relay in point form and then blame on this Dadless day.

Free Day at the Museum:

-Jasper gets a very pungent and leaky case of diarrhea
-Leave James with friends to hunt down a change table.
-Informed that the only change table is  in the staff washroom  (um. design flaw).
-Curator hesitates to direct me and then considers that I am about to take care of that diaper she’s smelling on the gift shop floor.
-Discover the staff room change table has milk crates of cleaning supplies piled in front of it.
-Discover a large stash of loose toilet paper rolls. Should not have moved the milk crates.
-Begin constructing a change station on the floor out of paper towels.  Wish I was doing it in the gift shop.
-Hear James screaming. Screaming like he’s bleeding. Like he’s bleeding from a severed limb. Like he’s bleeding from a severed limb that is now being eaten by the stuffed Grizzly in  the Natural World exhibit.
-Mop up diarrhea post-haste. (A terrible way to mop up diarrhea)
-Rush to find James with all limbs attached.
-Informed that he is screaming because he has to pee and no one thought it was a good idea when he suggested peeing next to the telegraph office (circa 1900).
-Take James to pee in a toilet while discussing the subjects of  “peeing in public” and “appropriate emotional responses” (also titled “you need a nap”)
-Leave museum post-haste.

Diarrhea and a massive public meltdown. J.D.:  Your prolonged absence is not without consequence .

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Andrea permalink
    April 19, 2012 10:46 pm

    Claire. I can’t tell you how much I love you. This recount made my day. Life with two boys certainly is interesting. You rock!

  2. Jemé permalink
    April 20, 2012 7:41 am

    Ditto what Andrea said 🙂

    It can only get better from here — right??????

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